akainagi: (angst)
2009-11-12 03:05 am
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  • Current Mood: depressed
  • Current Location: on my bed
  • Current Music: total f***ing silence.
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Got booted out of Resi, sent home

And here I am at 3 AM up as usual. My body still expects me to have to get in line for morning vitals and weigh in.
And GOD how I don't want to eat. I have to eat right for two days in order to get my mom off my back so I can start restricting again. The only thing I know for sure is that I'm hitting the gym with a vengance today. Have my therapist at 1p this afternoon. I really like her but I'm just not up for it.
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akainagi: (fading)
2009-10-16 12:10 pm
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  • Current Mood: crappy
  • Current Location: Nurses' station
  • Current Music: Residents yelling in the dining room
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Slip-ups vs. relapses

I have to find a way to make my slip-ups just slip-ups and not turing them into relapses.
One mistake does not mean I have to bury the pain and disappointment by using more of the maladaptive behaviors that caused me pain in the first place.
It's a f***ed up cycle.
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