Update and piccies

[akainagi]

So I've been about two weeks in residential eating disorder treatment and it is the wee hours of the morning on the day I probably (thanks to my s**t insurance) am getting the boot. To comemmorate this less than auspicious event:

Click for a bigger pic

Me with my fluffy hair:

I met a razor and the razor won:

My beautiful semi-new tattoo:

P.S.: Please add me to your prayers and well wishes not only for my recovery, but so that at least one of the 50 or so resumes I've plastered all over cyberspace will get a hit. Because, to be frank, my job is a huge reason I have this disorder in the first place.

Comments

[kiyala.livejournal.com]

That's a beautiful tattoo! I like that it matches the necklace you are wearing in that first picture :)

Fuzzy hair! How does it feel to have hair that short? The shortest I've ever had my hair was down to my chin (and then it curled around everywhere xP)

Sucks to hear you'll be getting the boot :( I hope you don't! And I hope you get some employment because that sounds pretty helpful indeed. Best of luck! <3 Has the residential ED treatment been helpful over the past two weeks?

Thanks so much

[akainagi.livejournal.com]

Thanks for so many things:
First thanks for the compliment on the tattoo. It's courtesy of my favorite shop: Chameleon Tattoo in Cambridge. It's supposed to symbolize my enlightenment and recovery. And it's so funny you say that because I had the artist model the tat after the necklace.

I LOVE my hair this length. It's actually even a tad shorter now. I love that I just wash it, rub a little leave-in and out the door. No blow dryer, no straightener, no nothing. And best of all: no bed head or the dreaded hat hair. And I love my hats. This hair is soooooooo liberating.

I'm hoping to get a stay of execution (ideally I'd like another week). My stay here has helped me work out some of my self-harming issues, but it's still super hard for me to eat. If they don't send me home I'm afraid they'll send me to the dreaded Walden Behavioral Care where you can't have cell phones or laptops or TV and they're totally hard core. If I go home and can stick it out a month for my Blue Cross coverage to kick in then I can go to Laurel Hill for treatment, which is the best of the best.

Thanks for the well wishes on the job front too. I've found a few jobs that I would love to have and am keeping my fingers crossed.

Mostly, thanks for responding and making me feel less alone. I know I've been away from eljay for a long time and it makes me feel so good that you would respond to my post even though I've been kind of neglectful and incommunicado. Some things never change: I see you still have the best ichishi icons around ^_^

Re: Thanks so much

[kiyala.livejournal.com]

You're so welcome :) <3

That's a good thing to symbolise! And I'm glad I picked up on the resemblance :D

And that short hair really does sound super handy :D And yay for hats! I love hats :D

Good to hear the self-harming is being worked out. If you don't mind me asking, do you know why it is that you don't like to eat?

I really hope they don't send you to Walden, that sounds more harmful than helpful D:


I'm really happy to know that I could make you feel less alone. I really haven't changed much over the years :D Still writing and fangirling IchiIshi like it's my job xD

Re: Thanks so much

[akainagi.livejournal.com]

Partly it is an intense fear of losing control, also an intense fear of putting on weight. I have been obese in the past and was verbally and emotionally abused in part because of it. That has left me with a paralyzing fear of gaining weight and an obsession with food and body image.