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akainagiAuthor: ![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
akainagi
Genre: Romance/Angst/Humor (little for everyone)
Pairing: RoyEd
Rating: So far PG-13 for Ed's dirty mouth
If the colonel was going to call him in, the bastard was going to have to find him first.
As much as his body wanted to sleep in on the morning after his disastrous run-in with Mustang, Ed didn’t want to chance waking up to a summons from headquarters. He refused to think of his actions as running and hiding per se. He preferred to think of it as strategic avoidance. He even bypassed breakfast in the mess hall in favor of hastily obtained sandwiches eaten on a park bench. The fact that they were fairly gross didn’t stop him from wolfing down two of them while Al watched him contemplatively. It was only a matter of time before his brother started asking questions that Ed had no idea how to answer. Questions like what are we doing here, why did you spend all yesterday hiding in the library, and why do you have a neon sign over your head that says “Hi! My name is Ed and I want to nail my C.O.”
Ed choked on his sandwich.
“Brother? Are you okay?”
Must get away. Now. “Fine, Al,” he managed between coughs. “I’m gonna grab something to drink. Back in a minute.” He got up a beat a hasty path across the park, leaving half of his breakfast and his very confused brother sitting on the bench.
What was wrong with him? Okay, maybe he was a little attracted to the colonel. He was willing to tentatively accept the possibility.
But … that … with him?
It wasn’t the act itself that was the problem, it was the participants. He knew in theory how it worked. Tab A, slot B and variations thereof. But the thought of Mustang getting all naked and sweaty and … and …
And why did his face feel like it was on fire?
He spotted a vendor on the edge of the park. A colorful cart manned by a little old lady, hocking various snacks, sweets and drinks. He put his disturbing thoughts on hold long enough to pay a couple of cenz and received something could pass for lemonade. He started slowly back across the park, sipping the tart liquid.
In the four years he had known him, Ed had never even seen the colonel even out of uniform. The closest Ed had come was seeing him with his sleeves rolled up and his jacket off. But it was less the uniform than the attitude. Roy Mustang probably made love the way he did everything else; with a smirk on his face, an air of condescension throughout and a cool dismissal at the end. Ed would like to think his future hypothetical sex life would be motivated by something resembling affection. Just because Roy Mustang’s face and body had all the right lines in all the right places, and admittedly Ed appreciated that fact, it was a far cry from wanting to go to bed with the man.
Wasn’t it?
Al was sitting where Ed had left him. Ed could tell that his brother wanted to say something. It was in the way he watched Ed approach. The way he leaned forward. The way the large metal fists clenched and unclenched. The actions of a nervous teenager looked rather absurd when translated onto a huge suit of armor. Ed knew he wasn’t going to want to answer whatever question came out of his brother’s mouth.
“Broth-”
“Books!” It came out as a nervous yelp. Real smooth, Ed.
“What?” Al asked confusedly
“I just remembered. I left a bunch of books at the library last night. Real important books. The Chemical Treatise of Arnold-someone-or-other. I gotta go by and pick them up. You coming?”
Al didn’t even know what hit him. “Uh … Okay …”
Strategic avoidance saves the day again.
“Great! Let’s go!” He grabbed the rest of his breakfast and took off so fast that Al actually had to hurry to catch up. Ed filled the walk to the library with pointless chatter about what he had read yesterday. Al couldn’t get a word in edgewise, which was exactly the way Ed wanted to keep it. He was lucky it was a short walk. He barely remembered anything from those books, thanks to his preoccupation with a certain bastard colonel. It wasn’t until he saw the uniformed military guards outside the library that he remembered what it was he was trying to avoid. And who. Aside from the dorms, this is probably the first place the colonel would think to send his underlings look for him.
Maybe if he got in and out in a hurry …
Ed left Al on the steps and walked nonchalantly past the guards, trying not to draw attention to himself. He saw a pair of eyes flick down, note the silver chain hanging from his pocket and flick back up again. He stepped through the huge double doors with a sigh of relief. Ed scanned the lobby for anyone who looked like they might be out to drag him kicking and screaming back to headquarters. Nothing. So far so good. He was halfway to the stairs when -
“Major Elric!”
Aw, crap.
The librarian behind the desk motioned to him. Ed walked over like a man headed to his execution.
“Major Elric?”
Gulp. “Yes?”
“Colonel Mustang –“
Here it comes …
“-left these here for you.”
Huh?
The librarian reached behind the desk, pulled out a stack of books, and plunked them down on the counter in front of Ed. Ed recognized the books from last night, including the one he had chucked at the colonel’s head.
He must have looked as confused as he felt, because the librarian frowned. “These are the books you need, aren’t they? The Colonel said you would probably be in for them today.”
Ed nodded stupidly.
The woman smiled. “Go ahead then. They’re all checked out.”
“Um, thanks.”
At least the books didn’t look booby trapped. He regarded them for a second before he picked them up. When they didn’t explode in his hands, he was forced to admit that maybe, just maybe, Roy Mustang had done something altruistic. For him. He half expected to see flying pigs filling the midmorning sky as he emerged from the library. Mustang even managed to mess with his mind in absentia. The considerate gesture was something Ed would have expected out of a human being, not the colonel. Damn it. Like he needed any more surprises right now. Ed hurried down the steps to meet his brother.
Al looked at the pile in his arms. “That was fast.”
Ed managed a noncommittal grunt and palmed half of the armload off on his brother. “Public library. Let’s go.”
While nothing could surpass the National Library for the size and quality of its collection, Central’s public library was as fine a civilian repository as could be found anywhere. Unfortunately it was about as far away from the National Library as one could get. Ed spent most of the way brooding and keeping on the lookout for blue uniforms and suspicious black military vehicles.
He was going to have to see the colonel soon; he had no illusions about that. Mustang was his superior. The man gave Ed his missions, accepted his reports and delivered the occasional lead on the Philosopher’s Stone that made all suffering inherent in the first two worthwhile. He just needed some time, damn it. He sighed.
“What’s wrong, Brother?” It was not a casual question. Nor was it accusatory. It was a simple statement that Al knew something was wrong, and as his brother, he expected Ed to tell him what.
Ed had done many things to his brother over the past four years. Lying had not been one of them.
“Later, Al,” Edward replied quietly. It was a promise.
Al asked with equal solemnity, “how much later?”
He could put his brother off. He could try and dance around the subject and buy himself some time. But frankly he was tired. Strategic avoidance might work on the colonel, but he couldn’t very well avoid Al. And his brother deserved far better from Ed than to be given the runaround. Ed saw the Central Public Library building, just coming into view, and made a decision.
“Library,” he said firmly. “When we get there, we’ll talk, okay?”
Al sounded relieved. “Okay.”
As the steps of the library loomed closer, Ed put the full weight of his genius alchemist mind to work on the complex problem of how to tell his brother what was wrong without actually telling him what was wrong. Definitely nothing about what he wanted to do, or not do, with the colonel. That would require him to explain why he, a male, was attracted to the colonel, another male. He was really hoping to save that particular discussion for another time. Like a couple hundred years from now.
So what did that leave him? ‘I walked in on a sleeping colonel and had a revelation, but I can’t tell you what about. I spent all day brooding in the library, but I can’t tell you why. I ran away like a coward twice in one day, but I can’t tell you what from.’ That was lucid. And he was out of time, because there they were at the steps of the library, and now he would be expected to walk up them, go inside, and proceed to explain to his brother something he hadn’t even successfully explained to himself. So it was with great relief that he received an unexpected, if brief, stay of execution.
A feminine voice called from somewhere above them, “Ed-chan! Al-chan!”
Ed was known by many names in Central alone; ‘Fullmetal,’ ‘Edward,’ ‘Major Elric,’ and by one man in particular, ‘midget.’ But only one person called him ‘Ed-chan.’
Gracia Hughes waved at him from the top of the stairs with one hand, while the other hand held the wrist of the straining Elysia, who had just caught sight of her favorite nii-sans. It had been quite a while since he’d last seen Lieutenant Colonel Hughes' wife and daughter. Elysia was sprouting like a weed. She must have grown an inch at least.
Ed wondered if it was wrong to be jealous of a four year old.
Gracia led her daughter down the granite steps before she let Alysia loose on her unsuspecting victims. The little blond girl bounded over to Ed and flung her arms around one of his legs. Ed noticed with an inward cringe that she chose the automail one. Elysia apparently had no compunction about embracing metal appendages however, because she just gave him a squeeze and then moved on to wrap herself around Al’s leg as well.
Ed smiled warmly at his brother, who, if he had been capable, would be grinning like a very happy fool. Ed knew how much it meant to his brother to be treated like a real person.
“Ed, Al!” Elysia chirped once she had her fill of hugging. “Did you come for story time too?”
Ed and Al looked questioningly at Mrs. Hughes, who chuckled. “Alysia just came from story time. Didn’t you, sweetie?” She put a hand on her daughter’s pigtailed head.
Elysia gave an exaggerated nod. “We read a book about a dragon, and a princess and a prince. And then we read an even better book about a frog who turned into a prince, but there was no dragon in that book and …” Elysia launched into a detailed dissertation about the merits of dragons versus frog princes.
Gracia smiled affectionately at the Elric brothers and talked over her daughter’s chatter like it was unobtrusive background music. She probably had a lot of practice. “How are you boys doing? I didn’t know you were back in town.”
Ed nodded, replying loud enough to be heard over the babbling Elysia. “We’re good, thanks. We just got back yesterday. How are you and the Lieutenant Colonel?”
“Oh, we’re all just fine. Maes and I were talking about you two just the other day.”
Ed looked over at Al, who was crouched down, listening to the ramblings of the four year old girl as she regaled him with tales of story time. “You were talking about us?” he asked Gracia. “What about?”
“Just how we’d like to have you over for dinner the next time you’re in town.”
Ed smiled. “That sounds great. We’ll have to do that sometime.”
“How about tonight?”
Ed was taken aback. It wasn’t like he and Al had any plans. And Gracia Hughes had to be one of the best cooks in Central City. Unfortunately the price paid for a meal at the Hughes household involved listening to hours of fatherly gushing courtesy of Maes Hughes. Ed weighed his options. “Thanks, but we wouldn’t want to impose or anything.”
Gracia laughed. “Don’t be silly. It’s not an imposition, it’s an invitation. I’m sure Maes would love to see you boys.”
The ‘potential playmate’ radar that existed in all little girls went off, and Elysia began hopping up and down with excitement. “Ed! Al! If you come over you can meet Max!”
Ed wasn’t sure he even wanted to know, but apparently Al did. “Who’s Max?” Al asked Elysia.
“He’s got black hair and yesterday he threw up on the carpet!”
Now Ed really didn’t want to know. Gracia rolled her eyes. “Elysia’s kitten,” she informed them.
“Oh.”
Gracia corralled her bouncing daughter with an efficiency that would shame a seasoned wrangler. “So we’ll see you at six o’clock?” Gracia asked them in a tone that was less a question and more a statement of fact.
Ed glanced over at his brother, who looked positively gone on the idea. It might have something to do with the fact that someone had mentioned the word ‘kitten’ to his animal-loving brother. Ed resigned himself to an evening of looking at the probably hundreds of family photos Hughes had amassed since their last visit. “Sounds great, thank you,” he replied graciously.
Gracia looked pleased. “Good. We’ll see you boys then, right Elysia?”
“Right! Bye Ed! Bye Al! Have fun at story time!” The child waved furiously as her mother led her away.
Ed watched Gracia and Elysia walk hand in hand down the street, feeling like he had just been through the eye of a four year old, pigtailed hurricane. There was one thing to be said for it, he supposed. That was the first five minutes of the day where he hadn’t thought about Roy Mustang at least once.
Speaking of which, he still had some explaining to do. Now.
Ed trudged up the white granite library steps with his brother in tow. The wizened old librarian behind the desk waved at them as they walked in the door. The public library was probably one of the few establishments in the city where Al didn’t get stares from the help due to his hulking chrome physique. Al was a regular here when the brothers were in town. Al would often do his own research here, while Ed was combing through the National Library.
The pair picked a quiet, secluded table in the corner of the second floor. Ed gratefully unloaded his armload of books. Sometimes Ed envied his brother’s indomitable strength. Right before he remembered what Al had sacrificed to get it.
Al laid his own books down and lowered himself into a chair that barely accommodated his large frame. He sat there, patiently watching his brother take his own seat.
And watching. And watching. And watching.
Suddenly Ed was hit with an attack of nerves that made all the previous ones seem like a tranquil afternoon in the park. Al’s opinion of him meant more to Ed than most anything he could name. How would Al react to finding out that his brother was so different from the person Al might have thought he was? Ed was still reeling from the realization himself.
In this particular staring contest, Al blinked first. “What happened yesterday, Brother?”
Short answer: I saw, I liked, I ran like hell. Ed didn’t think that would cut it.
“You didn’t threaten to assassinate the Colonel again, did you? They take that stuff kind of seriously in the military.”
Ed scowled. “No, I didn’t. Not that the son of a bitch wouldn’t deserve it if I did.”
“Then what happened?”
Ed could feel his face getting warm. He felt the overwhelming desire to examine the grain of wood they used on the library table. Ed took a deep breath. “What happened was …” No that wouldn’t work. “You see, Al…” No, that was no good. “It’s just …”
It’s just what? Incomprehensible? Disturbing? Really really really wrong?
“It’s … Personal?” Al asked uncertainly.
“Yeah … No!”
If this didn’t qualify as personal, nothing did.
“Yeah. I guess you could say it’s personal,” Ed admitted.
Al sat quietly for a moment, like he was weighing his words, trying to gauge the right thing to say. “Brother. If it’s something … you know … personal, you don’t have to tell me.”
“No, Al! It’s not-“
“Brother!” Al cut him off sharply. “Listen to me, okay?”
Ed blinked in surprise.
Al didn’t wait for Ed to answer. “I thought you were acting strange for a while now. And then you’ve been acting really weird since yesterday. And then when you didn’t come back to the dorm all yesterday, I got worried…”
Ed felt a stab of guilt all over again.
“… And then I went to see the Colonel, and he told me you never came to see him.”
Ed gave an indignant yelp. “Yes I did! It’s not my fault the bastard was asleep on the job!”
Al ignored the outburst. “My point is, I didn’t know what happened to you, and I got worried. You could have called, you know.”
Ed had the good grace to look sheepish.
Al was too busy examining his own hands to notice. Either he suddenly found them fascinating, or he was avoiding his brother’s gaze. “But if it’s something personal … you don’t have to tell me everything. Not that you can’t talk about it! That’s not what I meant. I mean, you can tell me if you want. You can tell me anything … if you want … but … ” Al stopped and sighed in frustration, as if what he was trying to say wasn’t coming out at all like he intended.
Al was quietly staring at his hands for so long that Ed was about to say something. But the younger Elric brother finally spoke again, and when he did, it was quiet, resigned and somewhat sad. “… you’re allowed to keep some stuff to yourself, you know. As long as your're okay. As long as it's not ... you know ... serious. It’s … it’s alright to have your own life.”
Ed wanted to protest. He didn’t want this life. This life was confusing and embarrassing and made him want things he was pretty sure he had no business wanting. He wanted his nice, simple life back. When it was just him and Al and all that mattered was their single, uncomplicated and shared purpose. He wanted to protest, but he didn’t. Al had offered him a way out of one of the most embarrassing declarations of his short existence. So he took it.
But still, his brother was pretty amazing. Ed felt like a couple tons had been lifted off his shoulders. In a handful of sentences Al had managed to dispel the cloud of anxiety that had been hovering over him like a suffocating blanket. His brother had rescued Ed from floundering in his own personal well of mortification. Although, at the moment, his savior looked a little scary.
Al glared at him, his eyes flashing. “I mean it, though. Call next time.”
Ed raised his hands in a gesture of surrender. “I got it, I got it!”
Al nodded, apparently satisfied, and turned his attention to the mountain of books. “Now where’s this ‘Treatise of Arnold Someone-or-other’ you were talking about?”
Ed handed him the tattered volume, and Al began leafing through it. Ed watched him for long moment.
“Hey, Al.”
Al looked up from his book.
“Thanks.”
Chapter 5
akainagiGenre: Romance/Angst/Humor (little for everyone)
Pairing: RoyEd
Rating: So far PG-13 for Ed's dirty mouth
If the colonel was going to call him in, the bastard was going to have to find him first.
As much as his body wanted to sleep in on the morning after his disastrous run-in with Mustang, Ed didn’t want to chance waking up to a summons from headquarters. He refused to think of his actions as running and hiding per se. He preferred to think of it as strategic avoidance. He even bypassed breakfast in the mess hall in favor of hastily obtained sandwiches eaten on a park bench. The fact that they were fairly gross didn’t stop him from wolfing down two of them while Al watched him contemplatively. It was only a matter of time before his brother started asking questions that Ed had no idea how to answer. Questions like what are we doing here, why did you spend all yesterday hiding in the library, and why do you have a neon sign over your head that says “Hi! My name is Ed and I want to nail my C.O.”
Ed choked on his sandwich.
“Brother? Are you okay?”
Must get away. Now. “Fine, Al,” he managed between coughs. “I’m gonna grab something to drink. Back in a minute.” He got up a beat a hasty path across the park, leaving half of his breakfast and his very confused brother sitting on the bench.
What was wrong with him? Okay, maybe he was a little attracted to the colonel. He was willing to tentatively accept the possibility.
But … that … with him?
It wasn’t the act itself that was the problem, it was the participants. He knew in theory how it worked. Tab A, slot B and variations thereof. But the thought of Mustang getting all naked and sweaty and … and …
And why did his face feel like it was on fire?
He spotted a vendor on the edge of the park. A colorful cart manned by a little old lady, hocking various snacks, sweets and drinks. He put his disturbing thoughts on hold long enough to pay a couple of cenz and received something could pass for lemonade. He started slowly back across the park, sipping the tart liquid.
In the four years he had known him, Ed had never even seen the colonel even out of uniform. The closest Ed had come was seeing him with his sleeves rolled up and his jacket off. But it was less the uniform than the attitude. Roy Mustang probably made love the way he did everything else; with a smirk on his face, an air of condescension throughout and a cool dismissal at the end. Ed would like to think his future hypothetical sex life would be motivated by something resembling affection. Just because Roy Mustang’s face and body had all the right lines in all the right places, and admittedly Ed appreciated that fact, it was a far cry from wanting to go to bed with the man.
Wasn’t it?
Al was sitting where Ed had left him. Ed could tell that his brother wanted to say something. It was in the way he watched Ed approach. The way he leaned forward. The way the large metal fists clenched and unclenched. The actions of a nervous teenager looked rather absurd when translated onto a huge suit of armor. Ed knew he wasn’t going to want to answer whatever question came out of his brother’s mouth.
“Broth-”
“Books!” It came out as a nervous yelp. Real smooth, Ed.
“What?” Al asked confusedly
“I just remembered. I left a bunch of books at the library last night. Real important books. The Chemical Treatise of Arnold-someone-or-other. I gotta go by and pick them up. You coming?”
Al didn’t even know what hit him. “Uh … Okay …”
Strategic avoidance saves the day again.
“Great! Let’s go!” He grabbed the rest of his breakfast and took off so fast that Al actually had to hurry to catch up. Ed filled the walk to the library with pointless chatter about what he had read yesterday. Al couldn’t get a word in edgewise, which was exactly the way Ed wanted to keep it. He was lucky it was a short walk. He barely remembered anything from those books, thanks to his preoccupation with a certain bastard colonel. It wasn’t until he saw the uniformed military guards outside the library that he remembered what it was he was trying to avoid. And who. Aside from the dorms, this is probably the first place the colonel would think to send his underlings look for him.
Maybe if he got in and out in a hurry …
Ed left Al on the steps and walked nonchalantly past the guards, trying not to draw attention to himself. He saw a pair of eyes flick down, note the silver chain hanging from his pocket and flick back up again. He stepped through the huge double doors with a sigh of relief. Ed scanned the lobby for anyone who looked like they might be out to drag him kicking and screaming back to headquarters. Nothing. So far so good. He was halfway to the stairs when -
“Major Elric!”
Aw, crap.
The librarian behind the desk motioned to him. Ed walked over like a man headed to his execution.
“Major Elric?”
Gulp. “Yes?”
“Colonel Mustang –“
Here it comes …
“-left these here for you.”
Huh?
The librarian reached behind the desk, pulled out a stack of books, and plunked them down on the counter in front of Ed. Ed recognized the books from last night, including the one he had chucked at the colonel’s head.
He must have looked as confused as he felt, because the librarian frowned. “These are the books you need, aren’t they? The Colonel said you would probably be in for them today.”
Ed nodded stupidly.
The woman smiled. “Go ahead then. They’re all checked out.”
“Um, thanks.”
At least the books didn’t look booby trapped. He regarded them for a second before he picked them up. When they didn’t explode in his hands, he was forced to admit that maybe, just maybe, Roy Mustang had done something altruistic. For him. He half expected to see flying pigs filling the midmorning sky as he emerged from the library. Mustang even managed to mess with his mind in absentia. The considerate gesture was something Ed would have expected out of a human being, not the colonel. Damn it. Like he needed any more surprises right now. Ed hurried down the steps to meet his brother.
Al looked at the pile in his arms. “That was fast.”
Ed managed a noncommittal grunt and palmed half of the armload off on his brother. “Public library. Let’s go.”
While nothing could surpass the National Library for the size and quality of its collection, Central’s public library was as fine a civilian repository as could be found anywhere. Unfortunately it was about as far away from the National Library as one could get. Ed spent most of the way brooding and keeping on the lookout for blue uniforms and suspicious black military vehicles.
He was going to have to see the colonel soon; he had no illusions about that. Mustang was his superior. The man gave Ed his missions, accepted his reports and delivered the occasional lead on the Philosopher’s Stone that made all suffering inherent in the first two worthwhile. He just needed some time, damn it. He sighed.
“What’s wrong, Brother?” It was not a casual question. Nor was it accusatory. It was a simple statement that Al knew something was wrong, and as his brother, he expected Ed to tell him what.
Ed had done many things to his brother over the past four years. Lying had not been one of them.
“Later, Al,” Edward replied quietly. It was a promise.
Al asked with equal solemnity, “how much later?”
He could put his brother off. He could try and dance around the subject and buy himself some time. But frankly he was tired. Strategic avoidance might work on the colonel, but he couldn’t very well avoid Al. And his brother deserved far better from Ed than to be given the runaround. Ed saw the Central Public Library building, just coming into view, and made a decision.
“Library,” he said firmly. “When we get there, we’ll talk, okay?”
Al sounded relieved. “Okay.”
As the steps of the library loomed closer, Ed put the full weight of his genius alchemist mind to work on the complex problem of how to tell his brother what was wrong without actually telling him what was wrong. Definitely nothing about what he wanted to do, or not do, with the colonel. That would require him to explain why he, a male, was attracted to the colonel, another male. He was really hoping to save that particular discussion for another time. Like a couple hundred years from now.
So what did that leave him? ‘I walked in on a sleeping colonel and had a revelation, but I can’t tell you what about. I spent all day brooding in the library, but I can’t tell you why. I ran away like a coward twice in one day, but I can’t tell you what from.’ That was lucid. And he was out of time, because there they were at the steps of the library, and now he would be expected to walk up them, go inside, and proceed to explain to his brother something he hadn’t even successfully explained to himself. So it was with great relief that he received an unexpected, if brief, stay of execution.
A feminine voice called from somewhere above them, “Ed-chan! Al-chan!”
Ed was known by many names in Central alone; ‘Fullmetal,’ ‘Edward,’ ‘Major Elric,’ and by one man in particular, ‘midget.’ But only one person called him ‘Ed-chan.’
Gracia Hughes waved at him from the top of the stairs with one hand, while the other hand held the wrist of the straining Elysia, who had just caught sight of her favorite nii-sans. It had been quite a while since he’d last seen Lieutenant Colonel Hughes' wife and daughter. Elysia was sprouting like a weed. She must have grown an inch at least.
Ed wondered if it was wrong to be jealous of a four year old.
Gracia led her daughter down the granite steps before she let Alysia loose on her unsuspecting victims. The little blond girl bounded over to Ed and flung her arms around one of his legs. Ed noticed with an inward cringe that she chose the automail one. Elysia apparently had no compunction about embracing metal appendages however, because she just gave him a squeeze and then moved on to wrap herself around Al’s leg as well.
Ed smiled warmly at his brother, who, if he had been capable, would be grinning like a very happy fool. Ed knew how much it meant to his brother to be treated like a real person.
“Ed, Al!” Elysia chirped once she had her fill of hugging. “Did you come for story time too?”
Ed and Al looked questioningly at Mrs. Hughes, who chuckled. “Alysia just came from story time. Didn’t you, sweetie?” She put a hand on her daughter’s pigtailed head.
Elysia gave an exaggerated nod. “We read a book about a dragon, and a princess and a prince. And then we read an even better book about a frog who turned into a prince, but there was no dragon in that book and …” Elysia launched into a detailed dissertation about the merits of dragons versus frog princes.
Gracia smiled affectionately at the Elric brothers and talked over her daughter’s chatter like it was unobtrusive background music. She probably had a lot of practice. “How are you boys doing? I didn’t know you were back in town.”
Ed nodded, replying loud enough to be heard over the babbling Elysia. “We’re good, thanks. We just got back yesterday. How are you and the Lieutenant Colonel?”
“Oh, we’re all just fine. Maes and I were talking about you two just the other day.”
Ed looked over at Al, who was crouched down, listening to the ramblings of the four year old girl as she regaled him with tales of story time. “You were talking about us?” he asked Gracia. “What about?”
“Just how we’d like to have you over for dinner the next time you’re in town.”
Ed smiled. “That sounds great. We’ll have to do that sometime.”
“How about tonight?”
Ed was taken aback. It wasn’t like he and Al had any plans. And Gracia Hughes had to be one of the best cooks in Central City. Unfortunately the price paid for a meal at the Hughes household involved listening to hours of fatherly gushing courtesy of Maes Hughes. Ed weighed his options. “Thanks, but we wouldn’t want to impose or anything.”
Gracia laughed. “Don’t be silly. It’s not an imposition, it’s an invitation. I’m sure Maes would love to see you boys.”
The ‘potential playmate’ radar that existed in all little girls went off, and Elysia began hopping up and down with excitement. “Ed! Al! If you come over you can meet Max!”
Ed wasn’t sure he even wanted to know, but apparently Al did. “Who’s Max?” Al asked Elysia.
“He’s got black hair and yesterday he threw up on the carpet!”
Now Ed really didn’t want to know. Gracia rolled her eyes. “Elysia’s kitten,” she informed them.
“Oh.”
Gracia corralled her bouncing daughter with an efficiency that would shame a seasoned wrangler. “So we’ll see you at six o’clock?” Gracia asked them in a tone that was less a question and more a statement of fact.
Ed glanced over at his brother, who looked positively gone on the idea. It might have something to do with the fact that someone had mentioned the word ‘kitten’ to his animal-loving brother. Ed resigned himself to an evening of looking at the probably hundreds of family photos Hughes had amassed since their last visit. “Sounds great, thank you,” he replied graciously.
Gracia looked pleased. “Good. We’ll see you boys then, right Elysia?”
“Right! Bye Ed! Bye Al! Have fun at story time!” The child waved furiously as her mother led her away.
Ed watched Gracia and Elysia walk hand in hand down the street, feeling like he had just been through the eye of a four year old, pigtailed hurricane. There was one thing to be said for it, he supposed. That was the first five minutes of the day where he hadn’t thought about Roy Mustang at least once.
Speaking of which, he still had some explaining to do. Now.
Ed trudged up the white granite library steps with his brother in tow. The wizened old librarian behind the desk waved at them as they walked in the door. The public library was probably one of the few establishments in the city where Al didn’t get stares from the help due to his hulking chrome physique. Al was a regular here when the brothers were in town. Al would often do his own research here, while Ed was combing through the National Library.
The pair picked a quiet, secluded table in the corner of the second floor. Ed gratefully unloaded his armload of books. Sometimes Ed envied his brother’s indomitable strength. Right before he remembered what Al had sacrificed to get it.
Al laid his own books down and lowered himself into a chair that barely accommodated his large frame. He sat there, patiently watching his brother take his own seat.
And watching. And watching. And watching.
Suddenly Ed was hit with an attack of nerves that made all the previous ones seem like a tranquil afternoon in the park. Al’s opinion of him meant more to Ed than most anything he could name. How would Al react to finding out that his brother was so different from the person Al might have thought he was? Ed was still reeling from the realization himself.
In this particular staring contest, Al blinked first. “What happened yesterday, Brother?”
Short answer: I saw, I liked, I ran like hell. Ed didn’t think that would cut it.
“You didn’t threaten to assassinate the Colonel again, did you? They take that stuff kind of seriously in the military.”
Ed scowled. “No, I didn’t. Not that the son of a bitch wouldn’t deserve it if I did.”
“Then what happened?”
Ed could feel his face getting warm. He felt the overwhelming desire to examine the grain of wood they used on the library table. Ed took a deep breath. “What happened was …” No that wouldn’t work. “You see, Al…” No, that was no good. “It’s just …”
It’s just what? Incomprehensible? Disturbing? Really really really wrong?
“It’s … Personal?” Al asked uncertainly.
“Yeah … No!”
If this didn’t qualify as personal, nothing did.
“Yeah. I guess you could say it’s personal,” Ed admitted.
Al sat quietly for a moment, like he was weighing his words, trying to gauge the right thing to say. “Brother. If it’s something … you know … personal, you don’t have to tell me.”
“No, Al! It’s not-“
“Brother!” Al cut him off sharply. “Listen to me, okay?”
Ed blinked in surprise.
Al didn’t wait for Ed to answer. “I thought you were acting strange for a while now. And then you’ve been acting really weird since yesterday. And then when you didn’t come back to the dorm all yesterday, I got worried…”
Ed felt a stab of guilt all over again.
“… And then I went to see the Colonel, and he told me you never came to see him.”
Ed gave an indignant yelp. “Yes I did! It’s not my fault the bastard was asleep on the job!”
Al ignored the outburst. “My point is, I didn’t know what happened to you, and I got worried. You could have called, you know.”
Ed had the good grace to look sheepish.
Al was too busy examining his own hands to notice. Either he suddenly found them fascinating, or he was avoiding his brother’s gaze. “But if it’s something personal … you don’t have to tell me everything. Not that you can’t talk about it! That’s not what I meant. I mean, you can tell me if you want. You can tell me anything … if you want … but … ” Al stopped and sighed in frustration, as if what he was trying to say wasn’t coming out at all like he intended.
Al was quietly staring at his hands for so long that Ed was about to say something. But the younger Elric brother finally spoke again, and when he did, it was quiet, resigned and somewhat sad. “… you’re allowed to keep some stuff to yourself, you know. As long as your're okay. As long as it's not ... you know ... serious. It’s … it’s alright to have your own life.”
Ed wanted to protest. He didn’t want this life. This life was confusing and embarrassing and made him want things he was pretty sure he had no business wanting. He wanted his nice, simple life back. When it was just him and Al and all that mattered was their single, uncomplicated and shared purpose. He wanted to protest, but he didn’t. Al had offered him a way out of one of the most embarrassing declarations of his short existence. So he took it.
But still, his brother was pretty amazing. Ed felt like a couple tons had been lifted off his shoulders. In a handful of sentences Al had managed to dispel the cloud of anxiety that had been hovering over him like a suffocating blanket. His brother had rescued Ed from floundering in his own personal well of mortification. Although, at the moment, his savior looked a little scary.
Al glared at him, his eyes flashing. “I mean it, though. Call next time.”
Ed raised his hands in a gesture of surrender. “I got it, I got it!”
Al nodded, apparently satisfied, and turned his attention to the mountain of books. “Now where’s this ‘Treatise of Arnold Someone-or-other’ you were talking about?”
Ed handed him the tattered volume, and Al began leafing through it. Ed watched him for long moment.
“Hey, Al.”
Al looked up from his book.
“Thanks.”
Chapter 5
