Threads: Insomnia (Part 3)
Oct. 19th, 2010 10:34 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
akainagiThreads: Insomnia (Part 3)
Author: AkaiNagi
Rating: PG-13
Genre: X-over with Stephen King’s Insomnia. AU: does not adhere to season three cannon i.e. Faith, Angel’s return, etc.
Summary: Buffy returns from Phoenix carrying a curse, one she must face alone. But when she disappears again, will anyone, even her Watcher, keep faith in her?
“Oooh! Have you tried chamomile tea?”
“Bass fishing on TV. Puts me to sleep every time.”
“Giles’ record collection.”
Everyone looked at Cordelia. “What? Have you actually heard some of the stuff he listens to?” she asked.
“Well pardon me for not being versed in the latest American noise,” Giles fired back.
Willow turned to Buffy excitedly. “See! I told you he made that clucking sound when he’s annoyed!”
Buffy let out a sigh that turned into a yawn. “Really guys, I appreciate the input, but I’ve tried teas, I’m not into slaughtering helpless fish, and as far as easy listening goes, let’s just say it’s way misnamed.”
The group sat around the large wooden table, their voices echoing in Sunnydale High’s cavernous library. After nearly a week of solo work with nothing to show for it, Giles had enlisted the help of the teens in researching Buffy’s ailment.
So far, nothing. And morale was flagging. Most of all on the part of Buffy herself.
In deference to Buffy’s ailment, patrolling had been … modified somewhat.
After much thought, and even with the knowledge that vampire activity peaked around midnight, Giles suggested that Buffy take advantage of her now 2:45 AM wake up call to patrol in the wee hours of the morning instead.
That was when Buffy made the discovery that left her in a state of near-despair. It seemed that the curse of insomnia was eating her nights at both ends. Not only did she wake up earlier each morning, but she fell asleep later each night. And the rate at which her sleep disappeared was accelerating. In desperation, she tried one night to stay up straight through, sure that the next night would result in her collapsing into a sound sleep.
It made no difference.
As Buffy’s despair mounted, so did Giles’ concern. In light of the very real danger posed by a Slayer who was overtired, overtaxed and whose reflexes potentially grew more sluggish with each minute of lost slumber, Giles instituted a buddy system. With the nearly unanimous agreement of the Scoobies (Cordy being the only dissenter) they were to take turns accompanying Buffy on her nightly rounds, with Giles joining the rotation as well.
Distance between them or no, Giles remained as wholly dedicated to the welfare of his Slayer as he had always been. While privately he (and all the others as well) might harbor the suspicion that Buffy’s illness was psychosomatic in nature, he didn’t doubt that it was real. And it put Buffy at grave risk.
~*~*~*~
The graveyards of Sunnydale were a lot less happenin’ places at 2AM than at midnight, Buffy learned very quickly. Though she had been skeptical at first, Giles’ buddy system had proved a good idea. Without the company she probably would have lapsed into a bored stupor. As it was, patrolling took on a surreal, almost dreamlike quality. Of course, she could always count on her best friend to give her a good poke in the ribs if she drifted off too far.
“Ow!” Buffy exclaimed, rubbing her side.
“Oh, don’t be a baby. I used the non-pointy end of the stake,” Willow defended herself.
The brisk October air smelled of the upcoming winter. She had been home two months. And in those two months Buffy had little but disappointment to look back on. Giles’ research had come up dry. Her nights now dwindled, even with the adjustment to her patrolling schedule, to less than four hours.
The only good thing to come out of the whole thing was that her relationship with the Scoobies seemed to be on the mend. And all it took was some quality time stalking and staking vamps.
Giles, as usual, proved the exception. Buffy had hoped they might use some of that quality vamp-staking time to regain some of their old … familiarity? Trust? Camaraderie? Closeness?
Maybe that was why she couldn’t fix their relationship, she ruminated. She wasn’t even sure how it was broken. But it was. She felt it keenly whenever she was around her Watcher. Something was missing.
“Penny for your thoughts?” Willow asked.
Buffy smiled tiredly. “Do you even have a penny, Will?”
“No,” the redhead admitted. “But I have a stake!” she held up the piece of wood as proof.
A rustling in the bushed to their right told Buffy they weren’t alone. Wasting no time, she plucked the stake neatly out of Willow’s hand and threw it into the bushes. Out stumbled a vamp, staked squarely through the heart. It managed a few faltering steps before exploding into dust.
Without even missing a beat, Buffy continued their conversation. “I dunno,” she answered as she retrieved her slightly used stake. “It’s complicated.” They resumed their slow walk through the cemetery.
“I can do complicated!” Willow insisted. “I can totally do complicated. Have I mentioned I’m dating a werewolf?”
Buffy sighed. Touché. “It’s Giles,” she admitted.
Willow obviously wasn’t expecting that. “Giles isn’t complicated. Tea. Books. Clucking sound. Totally not complicated.”
“Trust me, Will. For me, he’s complicated,” Buffy explained. “It’s like there’s this wall between us that wasn’t there before.”
“You mean before you skipped town.”
Buffy winced. “Yeah,” she said quietly. “Before that.”
“Buffy,” Willow began seriously, her walk slowing to a stop. “You may not want to hear this, but it hit Giles hard when you left. Like megaton blast hard.”
The gnawing specter of guilt began worrying away at Buffy’s insides.
Willow continued. “He kind of lost it for a while. He would get a lead, run off looking for you, and every time the lead came up dry he just got more and more depressed. We were all uber-worried about him.”
“I know I fucked up, Will,” Buffy said in frustration. “I just can’t figure out how to fix it. I want things to go back to the way they were.”
Willow could see her friend’s distress, that’s why it was so hard to say what needed saying. “Maybe it’s not something you fix. Maybe things won’t be the way they were. We can’t go back, Buffy. We can only go forward.”
Forward, Buffy thought. How do you go forward when all you want to do is go back? And how do you go forward when the future looks so dark
~*~*~*~
Giles yawned and looked at the clock in the hall. Gods, it was that late already. He took his glasses off and rubbed his eyes, tired from pouring over the printed word.
It was about time he faced up to the truth.
There was no curse. No spell. None that he knew of anyway.
He would have to break the news to Buffy. Dammit, he had been so optimistic. Despite his warning to Buffy not to get her hopes up, he had been so hopeful himself. Hopeful that he would be able to find a solution to his Slayer’s dilemma.
I’m a fool, he thought sardonically. He had wanted to be the hero for once. Had wanted to be the one to deliver Buffy from her pain, like he had been unable to do so many times before. Then perhaps he could begin to bridge the gap that had existed between them since her return from Arizona.
He wanted their partnership to be a true Watcher/Slayer bond. That was impossible as they were now. They were supposed to be two halves of the same whole, and right now it felt as if they inhabited different galaxies.
Even unbonded, it hurt to see her suffer. It hurt to look into her haggard face and tired eyes. It hurt to see her pain. And it hurt to know that tomorrow he would have to deliver news that would add to it.
Author: AkaiNagi
Rating: PG-13
Genre: X-over with Stephen King’s Insomnia. AU: does not adhere to season three cannon i.e. Faith, Angel’s return, etc.
Summary: Buffy returns from Phoenix carrying a curse, one she must face alone. But when she disappears again, will anyone, even her Watcher, keep faith in her?
“Oooh! Have you tried chamomile tea?”
“Bass fishing on TV. Puts me to sleep every time.”
“Giles’ record collection.”
Everyone looked at Cordelia. “What? Have you actually heard some of the stuff he listens to?” she asked.
“Well pardon me for not being versed in the latest American noise,” Giles fired back.
Willow turned to Buffy excitedly. “See! I told you he made that clucking sound when he’s annoyed!”
Buffy let out a sigh that turned into a yawn. “Really guys, I appreciate the input, but I’ve tried teas, I’m not into slaughtering helpless fish, and as far as easy listening goes, let’s just say it’s way misnamed.”
The group sat around the large wooden table, their voices echoing in Sunnydale High’s cavernous library. After nearly a week of solo work with nothing to show for it, Giles had enlisted the help of the teens in researching Buffy’s ailment.
So far, nothing. And morale was flagging. Most of all on the part of Buffy herself.
In deference to Buffy’s ailment, patrolling had been … modified somewhat.
After much thought, and even with the knowledge that vampire activity peaked around midnight, Giles suggested that Buffy take advantage of her now 2:45 AM wake up call to patrol in the wee hours of the morning instead.
That was when Buffy made the discovery that left her in a state of near-despair. It seemed that the curse of insomnia was eating her nights at both ends. Not only did she wake up earlier each morning, but she fell asleep later each night. And the rate at which her sleep disappeared was accelerating. In desperation, she tried one night to stay up straight through, sure that the next night would result in her collapsing into a sound sleep.
It made no difference.
As Buffy’s despair mounted, so did Giles’ concern. In light of the very real danger posed by a Slayer who was overtired, overtaxed and whose reflexes potentially grew more sluggish with each minute of lost slumber, Giles instituted a buddy system. With the nearly unanimous agreement of the Scoobies (Cordy being the only dissenter) they were to take turns accompanying Buffy on her nightly rounds, with Giles joining the rotation as well.
Distance between them or no, Giles remained as wholly dedicated to the welfare of his Slayer as he had always been. While privately he (and all the others as well) might harbor the suspicion that Buffy’s illness was psychosomatic in nature, he didn’t doubt that it was real. And it put Buffy at grave risk.
~*~*~*~
The graveyards of Sunnydale were a lot less happenin’ places at 2AM than at midnight, Buffy learned very quickly. Though she had been skeptical at first, Giles’ buddy system had proved a good idea. Without the company she probably would have lapsed into a bored stupor. As it was, patrolling took on a surreal, almost dreamlike quality. Of course, she could always count on her best friend to give her a good poke in the ribs if she drifted off too far.
“Ow!” Buffy exclaimed, rubbing her side.
“Oh, don’t be a baby. I used the non-pointy end of the stake,” Willow defended herself.
The brisk October air smelled of the upcoming winter. She had been home two months. And in those two months Buffy had little but disappointment to look back on. Giles’ research had come up dry. Her nights now dwindled, even with the adjustment to her patrolling schedule, to less than four hours.
The only good thing to come out of the whole thing was that her relationship with the Scoobies seemed to be on the mend. And all it took was some quality time stalking and staking vamps.
Giles, as usual, proved the exception. Buffy had hoped they might use some of that quality vamp-staking time to regain some of their old … familiarity? Trust? Camaraderie? Closeness?
Maybe that was why she couldn’t fix their relationship, she ruminated. She wasn’t even sure how it was broken. But it was. She felt it keenly whenever she was around her Watcher. Something was missing.
“Penny for your thoughts?” Willow asked.
Buffy smiled tiredly. “Do you even have a penny, Will?”
“No,” the redhead admitted. “But I have a stake!” she held up the piece of wood as proof.
A rustling in the bushed to their right told Buffy they weren’t alone. Wasting no time, she plucked the stake neatly out of Willow’s hand and threw it into the bushes. Out stumbled a vamp, staked squarely through the heart. It managed a few faltering steps before exploding into dust.
Without even missing a beat, Buffy continued their conversation. “I dunno,” she answered as she retrieved her slightly used stake. “It’s complicated.” They resumed their slow walk through the cemetery.
“I can do complicated!” Willow insisted. “I can totally do complicated. Have I mentioned I’m dating a werewolf?”
Buffy sighed. Touché. “It’s Giles,” she admitted.
Willow obviously wasn’t expecting that. “Giles isn’t complicated. Tea. Books. Clucking sound. Totally not complicated.”
“Trust me, Will. For me, he’s complicated,” Buffy explained. “It’s like there’s this wall between us that wasn’t there before.”
“You mean before you skipped town.”
Buffy winced. “Yeah,” she said quietly. “Before that.”
“Buffy,” Willow began seriously, her walk slowing to a stop. “You may not want to hear this, but it hit Giles hard when you left. Like megaton blast hard.”
The gnawing specter of guilt began worrying away at Buffy’s insides.
Willow continued. “He kind of lost it for a while. He would get a lead, run off looking for you, and every time the lead came up dry he just got more and more depressed. We were all uber-worried about him.”
“I know I fucked up, Will,” Buffy said in frustration. “I just can’t figure out how to fix it. I want things to go back to the way they were.”
Willow could see her friend’s distress, that’s why it was so hard to say what needed saying. “Maybe it’s not something you fix. Maybe things won’t be the way they were. We can’t go back, Buffy. We can only go forward.”
Forward, Buffy thought. How do you go forward when all you want to do is go back? And how do you go forward when the future looks so dark
~*~*~*~
Giles yawned and looked at the clock in the hall. Gods, it was that late already. He took his glasses off and rubbed his eyes, tired from pouring over the printed word.
It was about time he faced up to the truth.
There was no curse. No spell. None that he knew of anyway.
He would have to break the news to Buffy. Dammit, he had been so optimistic. Despite his warning to Buffy not to get her hopes up, he had been so hopeful himself. Hopeful that he would be able to find a solution to his Slayer’s dilemma.
I’m a fool, he thought sardonically. He had wanted to be the hero for once. Had wanted to be the one to deliver Buffy from her pain, like he had been unable to do so many times before. Then perhaps he could begin to bridge the gap that had existed between them since her return from Arizona.
He wanted their partnership to be a true Watcher/Slayer bond. That was impossible as they were now. They were supposed to be two halves of the same whole, and right now it felt as if they inhabited different galaxies.
Even unbonded, it hurt to see her suffer. It hurt to look into her haggard face and tired eyes. It hurt to see her pain. And it hurt to know that tomorrow he would have to deliver news that would add to it.
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Date: 2010-10-20 04:02 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2010-10-20 06:09 pm (UTC)Hungry for more.